Diary Entry #001

Where have I been?

Dear Substack,

It’s been a while since I’ve written.

Maybe because every time I pick up my pen, It feels like the ink has faded, and the words have become too faint to reach.

They’re there… somewhere… but when I try to hold them, they slip away before I can make sense of them.

I have a lot to say.

A whole lot.

The words just don’t seem to obey.

It’s a strange feeling, knowing your mind is crowded with thoughts yet struggling to articulate even one of them.

Ironically, I could write about almost anything, because my life itself has become a story filled with plot twists.

Some beautiful.

Some painful.

Some that I never saw coming.

A lot has happened since I last posted here.

I lost my spark.

I found it again.

Then I lost it.

Again.

Until it felt like my fire had been extinguished, and all that remained were the ashes of who I once was.

Somewhere between deadlines, expectations, and trying to become the person I dream of being, survival became my routine.

I was so consumed with trying to become someone that I forgot how to simply be.

School…?

Oh well.

Life?

Well, we thank God we’re still alive. 😭

There were days I wanted to disappear.

Not in the dramatic sense.

Just… disappear long enough for life to stop asking so much of me.

So I disappeared into daydreams, where life unfolded exactly the way I wanted it to.

Sometimes into silence.

I told myself it was only temporary.

That I’d return when I felt stronger.

Maybe that’s why I’m here again.

Not because life suddenly became easier.

Not because I have all the answers.

But because I’ve missed this.

I’ve missed writing.

I’ve missed thinking.

I’ve missed leaving little pieces of myself on a page.

So…

Dear Substack,

I’m back.

With Love,

Hyelnayaa💌

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